So Sick

11-2.

11-2, and not 11 and 2, or november 2nd, 11-2.

Eleven-Two.

Eleven 2 Two.

Is there a greater embarrassment? 

I guess 12-2. 

I've never felt like i was accomplishing less in my entire life. 

True, i love it down here, during the week.

Then, we have to go play teams that toy with us. 

To go on the ice, and dominate.

And then sit on the bench, and continuously watch us get scored on.

Now. I'm not blaming my team for 11-2. 

That's just unfair. 

But it just seems like its been like this all year. 

One time, just one time, how sweet it would taste to win a game against a good team.

It would switch the taste of dry coffee in my mouth to cotton candy.

Just one time.

One time. 

All weekend, I just thought of OU. 

Thought about how they had a home football game, which i think they lost because they're terrible, to akron.

Ohio football is as disgraceful to college football as the Grand Rapids Jr. Owls are to the CSHL.

But i would be attending a great school, hopefully playing hockey, and living the college life.

I've never actually wanted to fast forward time.

Sometimes i have by like a few days, or hours.

But never months. 

God.

Fast forward me to April.

Please. 

So i can see where i end up.

And go home. 

And work.

And work out.

And see my family.

And friends.

And just live.

Leave all this behind.

But until then.

I guess i have to just sweat it out.

Make the best of it.

Somehow.

Maybe it wasn't our coach.

Maybe we'll know later.

I hope.

It can't get any worse.

I hope.

Maybe something will happen.

And this will get turned around.

Maybe.

I think my jersey needs to get a bit heavier.

If you catch my drift.

Maybe someone will see it.

I already do it.

Might as well give me the extra weight.

It won't slow me down.

Rather rule in hell then serve in heaven, right?

If only i could fast forward time.

But i cant.

Cant wait to go home.

And not think about this at all.

Going to be great.

One time.

One time.

When Darkness Falls

When Darkness falls, most turn away

Willing to leave, too scared to stay;

Until the light, is shined once more

To cleanse the spirit, from their floor.

When Darkness falls, most run and hide

Afraid of black, they run inside;

Until the light, decides to rise

And puts that sparkle, in their eyes.

When Darkness falls, most give it up

Too Terrified, to live it up;

Until the light, beams from the sky

And wipes the tears, from their cry.

When Darkness falls, most tend to quit

Thus leading too, their skin cells slit;

Until the light, shines off the moon

And heals their scares, heals their wounds.

When Darkness falls, I find a way

To see color, ignore the gray;

And when the light, shines through to me

I'll be waiting, to shine indeed.

I have been working on this poem, actually trying to focus on structure and rhythm and all that shakespearean trash. 

It is about my aspect toward the things i am doing right now, compared to how it seems like everyone else looks at their situation. 

It has a bunch of meanings. 

Interpret How You Want. 

Feedback would be great!

Cruising the Streets

What a journey!

The 4 hours to traverse city from dearborn was one of the craziest adventures i think i have ever been on. I finally got some time to think, and not have to worry about hockey. Even though half the time i spent thinking i was thinking about hockey so i guess i only spent half of my time wisely. 

I really didn't think i was going to make it, even though i took every safety precaution before leaving. I got my oil change, filled up the gas tank, cooled my engine down, filled up the tires... I was ready to go.

Then 10 miles down the road my Check Engine light decides to turn on... and never turn off. 

All i could think is ''hmm... i am either going to spend tonight tucked away in my own bed, or i will be crammed in my backseat in a broken down car using a suit jacket as a blanket."

Thankfully i made it home, without hitting any dear; however, i did run over a bunny, i would have swerved if there wasn't a semi coming at me the other way. I had to make the decision to either kill one of god beautiful creatures, or kill a rabbit... haha thought i was going the other way didn't you?

I actually feel really bad about hitting a rabbit. 

I finally got home. 

The feeling of driving through Traverse City is something i can not even explain. It was like a trip through the past. Given i only went about 5 miles down Garfield into the heart of traverse city but it seemed like every building i passed lied a deep and sincere memory. Driving past the bowling alley where clay and i spent a lot of the summer, driving by where i get my oil changed, driving by bo tangles, where i used to always get hair cuts as a kid, driving by rite aid where i used to always grab food during drivers ed, it was all just a trip. 

Its hard to realize how much this city has transformed me from a kid into a man. 

I wanted so badly to get out of this city 4 months ago, i wanted out of the depths of the basement and into the limelight of reality. But i couldn't realize how much this city impacted me until i left it. 

The first time i came back i was only gone for 2 weeks, and it felt like i had been gone for 2 years. Now, being gone for 9 weeks, it was like i was visiting, instead of leaving where i was visiting. 

I was so excited. 

Driving down Garfield road knowing i had just miles to get to my tempur pedic bed, knowing that in about 8 hours clay will be roaring through my bedroom door as if it was his own and there was 500 bucks waiting for him. 

Not even singing, literally SCREAMING, gangsta gangsta by lil scrappy as i flipped the bird to the police that i saw pulling over a dodge ram, knowing they just ruined his night. 

Auburn Hills has transformed me into a man, and i don't just say that because i can finally grow facial hair. Playing junior hockey, no matter the level, has really shown me some of the key points of life that you have to also take to the ice.

And i have met so many people, who i can hang out with as if i had known them for years. Its kind of weird because while i am in Auburn Hills i spend so much time texting people back home, telling them how much i can't wait to get back. Now that i am home, i know i will be texting people in Auburn Hills telling them how much i can't wait to get back. 

Its just so nice being home again. Walking into my room, seeing all my clothes that i didn't take downstate lying extremely unorganized over my floor, I had to smile. 

For the first time ever, I felt completed. 

I honestly feel like if i died in my sleep tonight i would have lived a very fulfilling and successful life. I would be very upset that i never got to go to the casino, but you can't do everything in a lifetime. 

Waking up in TC tomorrow is going to be awesome. 

No longer having to wait until i got home to do things. 

This feels so right.

I am home. 

Where i belong. 

For now.

Voting

I remember the first thing that came to my mind when i realized I would be 18 on November 4th of 2008. Hey! I can vote! Well tomorrow that prestigious day comes where every young adult tries to find their way to the poll booth so they can have their say in the direction of this beautiful country for the next 4 years. 

On the contrary. 

I will not be voting tomorrow.

I'm so sick of hearing popular punk bands go against their rebellious reputation on MTV telling all of us teenagers that we need to get out and vote. To me, the problem with the voting in this country is not the fact that there are people not getting into the booths; the problem is that too many people are not exactly sure what they're voting for. 

If you are completely positive that you want to vote republican or democrat and you sit at home watching the election update on CNN then there is a problem with that; however, if you are like me and thousands of other 18 year old, and are not completely positive on the issues you are choosing for this country, DO NOT feel terrible about sitting at home while educated citizens vote. 

It sickens me to hear so many people vote solely on one issue. I mean lets say you want medical marijuana to be legalized, an issue that many teenagers and young adults get the munchies to just thinking about it, Obama is your man. He even said in 2004 "I think we need to rethink and decriminalize our marijuana laws." Just from that one sentence, its disgusting to think how many KIDS will rush to the voting booth praying that Barack Hussein will be running this country. Add in the fact that Obama voted for the raise of minimum wage and wants the minimum hourly wage to be over 9 dollars an hour in the next couple years, and you are already getting in your car to vote aren't you? 

How about Mccain? As an avid sports watcher it really is a healthy campaign to see that Johnny boy actually sponsored the bill to drug test professional athletes. Mccain opposes any bill that would legalize weed and he even continues to put money toward busting avid users. He believes marijuana is a gateway drug that can easily lead to the use and possession of more dangerous drugs such as cocaine and LSD. Finally a contradiction, I see the positives to each of these situations but is this country really in such a medical crisis that we can't find healthier substitutions to medicine? I mean do we really need to turn to the Bob Marley plant in order to reduce health hazards? That is some (pardon me relatives) but to quote Harold and Kumar, "post-college rebel bullshit."

I mean sure it kind of frustrates me, a kid that has had a job since he was 15 that Mccain has voted 15+ times to NOT increase the minimum wage, but that is his right. He is someone that has a far more educated opinion on the issue then any of us. He knows exactly what he is voting for, and the exact chances that an increasing minimum wage could lead to an immediate inflation have to be running wild in his mind. 

So yes, I know the sides of two issues, from some easy research, on the two people, one of which will soon be running this country. 

Do i now feel like I should get out and vote? No.

I do think it is great that we live in a country where our forefathers went to war to give us a say in what happens to this nation. But both candidates have so much negative to them that it pains me to become part of the problem.

Bush has a low approval rating, but do you remember who he ran against in 2004? I mean sure Al Gore had the popular vote in 2000 and maybe "should have been" the president. But I mean John Kerry in 2004? A guy who probably couldn't fit his chin threw the white house door? The country is going to be against the head of state no matter who is in office.

The people of this country need to understand their role as citizens and only get to the polls if they feel like they know exactly what they are voting for. 

I personally feel that if Gore or Kerry was in office we would still be getting attacked by terrorists, no matter how you feel on the war in Iraq, it is something that has to be done. You can not avoid a problem, Iraq is a problem, you can't make peace with terrorists. 

You can't play a prevent defense when your down in the game sort of speak. You need to go on the offensive, which is exactly what we have done. I fear if Obama is elected the pulling of our troops from Iraq (who volunteered to lead this country in the war on terror), we would be going back on the defensive while still down in the ball game. If Mccain is elected, I am afraid he will feel pressured to force an even greater attack, and throw hail marys while still in the middle of the third quarter. 

All i can hope is that no matter who is elected, they communicate with Bush and figure out exactly what he had in mind when he put the troops into Iraq. 

The war is one thing that we can not afford to gamble on. This is one time we can't put money on 10 black. 

Almost every other issue we can completely reverse and live with the consequences. The war on terror is not one of those issues. I am almost to the point of terrified that a dramatic change in the presidency can turn this country into chaos. 

Will it happen? Hopefully not. 

All i ask is that if you are going to fill in a ballot. Please. Know exactly who you are voting for. 

This is something that I can not do. 

So I am so sorry Usher, I will be neglecting my privilege to vote for the next president of the United States. 

I will not vote Mccain, I will not vote Obama, hell I won't even vote Nader.

I vote for America. And hopefully for a consistent, great, and noble next 4 years.

Fly high USA. 

First Entry: CSHL. 11/2/08

You know, it is going to be tough to try and write this. A lot of the things i am most passionate about, and most of the things i like to write about, are not the type of things that one would post on the internet. But hey, lets see what i can do. Anytime i can display my mostly random thoughts, and informal diction (you will never see me capitalize i in the middle of a sentence, and i just said you, ha, take that high school curriculum-based writing), for the public, then i guess i have nothing to worry or complain about. 

i kind of hate the CSHL. The Central States Hockey League, more like the Crap Shoot Hockey League. The way you advance in this game makes zero sense, i mean in sports like football, baseball, and basketball, you play in some sort of league until you get to high school, then you play in high school, if you're good, you go to college. Simple. Now lets try to figure out how you can advance in hockey. Everyone that moves on has played travel hockey when they were young, that part is obvious, but then when you get into high school is when it becomes complicated. If you go to a high school with a prestigious hockey program, preferably in Minnesota or Michigan, then you play high school; however, if you don't, then you have to find a AAA program to play for. So thus far it doesn't seem to complicated, AAA or high school, sounds easy. But then high school is over, now what? Great Q. Something I still don't know the answer too. How many other sports, can you play on one of the worst teams in the league, and still believe that you will advance further then 95% percent of all the other players in the league? None. This game is one of a kind. 

I mean its disgusting sometimes, I'll sit on the bench, and watch 20 year olds think they're hard by attacking and cheap shotting kids barely old enough to drive. I mean its like dude, while you're sitting at home counting down the days until you can get wasted legally, the kid you just cheap shotted is getting driven home by his parents. I understand some of these kids who are twenty years old and just have nothing better to do, but like when an entire team consists of 20 of those kids. Now you are just disgracing the game. The CSHL shouldn't be about winning, obviously we all want to win, but the league is supposed to be a stepping stone to greater things. When a younger kid gets hurt by almost a legal man, and ruins his career, somethings gotta give. 

I love the game. I love the blood, the talk, the celebrations, the assists, the garbage goals, the ESPN goals, the big hits, the finished checks, the fights, i love it all. Its just the fact that there are teams and kids out there disgracing the game that bothers me. Kids that play with no respect or love for the game. Literally makes me sick to my stomach. Knowing that the one thing i am trying to use to get myself into college for free, is the same thing you are taking for granted. 

So yes the Cherokee and the Thunderbirds may rise atop the CSHL, but in the long run of life, the Chiefs will be on top, because we are doing things the right way, not the easy way.