Not having a car sucks.

Well.

For all of those that do not know i totalled my brand new car after having it for about 10 days. 

I got extremely lucky that i did not get hurt or killed.

I do not want to go into detail on how it happened because it is a situation that is very hard to describe.

It involved a 65 mph unsuccesful merge onto the highway, ice, and a beautiful black 2006 pontiac G6 flipping several times and finishing in a state that resembled more of a useless pile of sheet metal then a car. 

I just feel bad for my dad.

There aren't many kids lucky enough to be able to have a family that can provide such a beautiful mobile, and i turned mine into what looked like a wood-chipping aftermath. 

Oh well?

I just wish i knew what i could do. 

Replacing a car is one thing. 

The 250 dollar ticket for "careless driving" and the 3 points that go onto an already horrific driving record are what will kill me. 

I know the cop had to give me a ticket. But to me it is very ridiculous. 

Its like the police academy was like 'hey how can we ruin peoples lives even more after they just had a terrible financial accident? Oh i know. An expensive ticket!"

Brutal.

I don't like to judge my life on material possessions. Because that is very superficial. But being an 18 year old kid without a car is just tough.

Now i have to use dad as taxi, which for me is fine, i have no problems. But i know i am burdening him, and thats what eats at me. He always tells me it isn't a problem and that he can find things to do and everything. But i can't help but think sometime in the next few months his boss is going to be upset because he didnt spend enough time on a project or presentation because he was to busy being my shuttle. 

Everything happens for a reason. God kept me alive for a reason. That i know. But why did he have to wreck my ride? Couldn't he have given me some other type of near death experience? Okay now i just sound irrational and ridiculous. 

I just wish i could win the lotto. 

Or stumble upon 10 grand. 

I don't even think i can afford the insurance to drive my moms jeep. 

Pretty soon they'll probably come out with passenger insurance and i won't even be able to afford my friends driving me around. 

I know i should be more positive about my situation, but its just so hard to be. 

I am so thankful to know that tomorrow i can wake up and live. But i've said it many times, my car was always the most important thing i owned, not due to the value, it was just the one thing i had that was mine, i could accessorize it my way, i could make it me. 

It was like my own little trip into my world. 

This summer is going to be hard. 

How i am going to find a way to places like the rink and the gym and of course work, i have no idea.

What is there to do? Nothing. 

Wait, and wish, and hope, that something comes my way.

I am taking the ticket to court, maybe the judge will give me some sympathy. 

Probably not, because i know he/she will stereotype me as an unthankful teenage kid just trying to get out of a ticket.

But i wasn't driving carelessly. I was off the phone, wasnt messing with the radio, or any other distraction that you can see all over every other driver on the detroit interstate. I'm sure cars passed by my accident not even realizing it because they were too busy reading or putting on makeup. 

Frustratttttttttttttttting. 

Oh well, Life goes on.